An obsession is when someone or a relationship takes over your life and you are not able to function or do your regular activities.
We know that everyone, when they first fall in love [or start crushing], becomes a little bit obsessed—but if it continues and it begins to take over your life, it’s an obsession
If you think you or a friend may be headed in an unhealthy direction, keep reading to spot the signs of obsession
1. Stalking
To know more about your crush – you check out his/her Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and oh, so many other Social Media apps. You might even talk about him/her to your mutual friends, but once you know enough and you continue doing this – YES, YOU ARE OBSESSING OVER HIM/HER.
2. Always in touch (24/7)
They wouldn’t leave you one bit and would want to chat/talk with you constantly. It’s as easy as whenever you look at your phone, it would either be pinging with their messages or you would be notified with a missed call when you just stepped outside for some fresh air.
3. The Honeymoon Phase Doesn’t Fade Out
Every love story begins with obsession. We just can’t help it! But as time passes by and we begin to find some flaws or have some arguments,
That phase should naturally fade away to some extent. And if it doesn’t, there’s a problem.
4. Using the Crush to Avoid Personal Insecurities
Obsession with a partner comes when we are feeling self-conscious.
If people are feeling insecure, people are not confident, people have an issue in some part of their life, then this person or this relationship replaces that.
So if I don’t feel good about myself, I use you as a boyfriend to define who I am, to tell me I’m a good person, a pretty person, a smart person. I think oftentimes it’s because we become dependent on others to define us.
5. Excessively jealous
Jealousy is an obsessed person’s best friend. Take it as a warking sign if your partner gets offended or grows jealous for trivial reasons like someone complimenting you or you spending an evening with friends.
Jealousy and insecurity get worse when a person starts acting suspiciously to satisfy his whims and fancy. It’s better to avoid such people
6. Emotionally blackmails or threatens you
You should reconsider being with a person who emotionally blackmails or threatens you to be with him because the person knows how he can use your love as a weapon to manipulate you.
In a healthy relationship, no partner must be forced to experience or witness such a bizarre and toxic show of love.
7. Dislikes your plans with your friends
They would want to be included in the plans that you are making with whoever – be it an old school friend, a bunch of office colleagues or just catching up with an acquaintance.
They’d feel left out if such plans materialize and they are left behind to do their own thing.
8. You must reply instantly
In this tech world, they’d constantly be keeping a check on when you are online, and if, you are and if you don’t reply to them immediately it ticks them off.
Whatever the explanation be – receiving documents from your boss, messaging your colleagues, or looking for music to lighten up the mood at work, they won’t understand.
9. Insists on knowing all your passwords
Did you catch your boyfriend/girlfriend reading you and your BFF’s chat? Does your lover insist that you should share all your passwords (including your phone password) with him/her?
This is a sign that you are dating a highly insecure person and insecurity can turn people into obsessive lovers.
10. Don’t get upset, when they should
If you did something that is a big ‘no-no’ in a relationship and your significant other doesn’t get upset with you, then he/she is obsessed with you.
Missing out on a family dinner or not turning up for that movie that you were planning for weeks, just to be a couched potato at home are upsetting matters and they overlook these.
11. Always ready for last-minute plans
f you are the obsessed one, then last-minute plans are always agreed upon with a positive nod and a wide smile on your face.
This can be sometimes used against you. Based on your partner’s free time or availability, plans are made with the understanding that you won’t ever deny.
12. You’re Constantly Obsessing Over Their Happiness
It’s almost like you feel guilty when you’re busy and they call and you can’t do something with them.
You feel responsible for making sure they’re okay and they have something to do and that they have friends.
It’s not empathy, it’s more like feeling responsible totally for who and what they are as well.
So if they call at the last minute, you feel guilty because you’re going out with your friends or you’re constantly thinking about their happiness
If, you can relate to any or all the above-mentioned points, bring your A-game on now. Make sure that you have a keen eye on moves and control the obsession by;
- See-through your person: If he/she comes across as the obsessive kinds and pushes you to plan outings with his/her friends rather than always planning it with you
- Trying to keep your insecurities at bay: Let them not crawl in, as that might result in ruining what you have going on right now with your significant other
- One can’t always be living in the ‘Honeymoon Phase’: So make sure that you don’t end up choosing him/her always over your friends and other commitments. Always is the emphasised word here
- Introspect and learn: You might be avoiding your insecurities with the recent obsession – either your crush or the significant other
- Returning texts immediately is not a necessity: If, a busy schedule doesn’t allow you or him/her to return calls or reply to texts immediately, don’t ponder over it and do that the first thing as soon as you get a chance
